You're doing all the right things... showing up for your family, your faith, your work, yet still something feels off. You're overwhelmed more than you want to be. Your relationships have the same friction points. You wonder why you keep getting in your own way.
Your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.
The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast with Amy Wicks exists for faith-driven women who are ready to get to the root, not just better strategies, but real transformation from the inside out.
Each week, Amy brings honest conversations, personal stories, and the kind of practical wisdom that actually changes how you see yourself and the people you love.
The Enneagram is the tool. Christ is the transformation. And you were made for more than just managing your patterns.
🎙️ New episodes every week. Subscribe and start wherever you feel most stuck.
Faith-based identity coaching for women who are tired of feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of who they really are.
Welcome to the first episode of the Nine Types Spring Series. An episode dedicated to learning all about the Enneagram Nine!
You will want to listen to each episode of this series if you know your Enneagram Type or are beginning your personality discovery journey! You will also want to share this special 9-part series so that your friends and family can learn about the Enneagram and maybe figure out their personality Type. Best of all if you listen to learn about each Type it will really help you know how to strengthen your relationships no matter their Type. Whether you are married, raising kids,, or working with others, chances are that you are interacting with all the Nine Enneagram personalities!
Guest interview mentioned that Amy was on, called "A Romance Recharge with Amy Wicks, 7-9 Pairing," listen here
The Enneagram can name your patterns. It can't set you free from them. That's the difference between insight and transformation, and it's the whole focus of this summit.
Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a Jesus and Enneagram enthusiast. As a wife, mama of three humans, and a fur baby, I get it. Juggling entrepreneurship in a family is challenging. But I believe the Lord does want your work to be enjoyable. As an Enneagram type 7, I am all about the fun factor. And this podcast is here to help you put the joy back into working mom life. So you can see 1 Timothy 6.17 come to pass in your own thing. It's a verse that says that God has given us all things to enjoy. All friends, it means all. Motherhood, work from home life, or work out of the home life. With the Lord's help, there's truly a way to feel calm, balance, joy, clarity, and peace in any arena of life. Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast, where you can expect solo-style and interview-style episodes that are full of faith-based concepts, simple ideas, Enneagram insights, alongside practical tips to help you put that smile back on your face when it comes to doing life with Jesus. Now get your headphones and head to that big pile of dishes in the sink, or maybe that bathroom that needed cleaning two weeks ago. And let's get to learning together. Now, friend, trust me, you're going to want to listen to each episode of the series, whether you know your Enneagram type or you're just beginning your personality discovery journey. You'll also want to share the special nine part series so that way your friends and family can learn about their Enneagram type and maybe they'll discover their personality along the way. Best of all, if you listen to learn about each type, it's going to help you know how to strengthen your relationships, no matter your personality or their personality. Chances are, whether you're married, raising kids, or working with others, you are probably interacting with all nine Enneagram types. Best of all, have you heard this well-kept secret? You are able to utilize character traits of all nine types because you are made in God's image, and the triune nature of God is all the nine types and more. You can reflect God's nature and all his character traits too when you are living as a beloved child of our Heavenly King. I promise you, Scripture would not tell us to be imitators of Christ if it wasn't possible. So listen in to this whole series to see what positive attributes you can learn about in each Enneagram type. Now, to get a feel of what to expect, each of the episodes this spring will spotlight one Enneagram number per episode, and we are going to do a deep dive. And when I say deep dive, I mean a deep dive. I'll be sharing things like a checklist of all the attributes of that specific type. We'll even discuss maybe what this personality looks like in children, the core traits, how the personality responds to stress, how to spot the positive and healthy characteristics, and I'm even going to be giving you workplace and parenting tips. The best part of all is you're going to get an overview of how each personality type connects with each of the other personality types. Tell you what, I've had my work cut out for me. And also, I couldn't share these without an applicable illustration. So you can count on me for a good story in each episode. Oh, and also, because I like to save the best for last, in each episode, I'm going to give you the best and biggest takeaway that you need to know about that type in the last 60 seconds of the episode. By the way, friend, have you downloaded my free Enneagram for Mompreneurs Guide? It's the Enneagram Guidebook for moms. If you desire to thrive in your faith, family, and business, you will want this resource. You can use the link in the show notes or head to simply wholehearted.com to get your free copy of this beautiful PDF with content for each Enneagram personality. You can gain even more understanding of your personality type's strengths, weaknesses, and the small pivots that you can make. So first up, here are 10 common traits of an Enneagram 9. One, you struggle with inertia or getting started, but once you get going, there's no stopping you. Two, you easily see the various perspectives of the situation, both good and bad. Three, you might work from the bottom of the to-do list or do the easier things instead of the important task. Four, you appear to be at peace, but there's often inner turmoil. Five, you find it difficult to know what you want when you're surrounded by opinionated people. 6. You don't like to be rushed and prefer to live at an unhurried pace. 7. You enjoy relaxing and hanging out with your closest people. 8. You focus on the positive unless you're stressed. 9. You value a lot of margin and white space in your schedule. And 1. You prefer to maintain a peaceful atmosphere and unity with others. So did you nod your head to most of these traits? Or did a person come to mind that fits this description? If you answered yes to most of these, you might be an Enneagram 9, or you might even know someone who is. And here is one of the most essential facts about the Enneagram that you must know before we go any further today. The Enneagram identifies motivations, not outward behavior. Yes, for sure there are common character traits or behavior patterns of each personality type. But the question to always ask yourself is what is the motivation behind the action? Or what is the core fear, longing, desire, or emotion behind your or their conduct? You and I may have done the same things in life, such as finding our soulmate, growing a family, and starting a business, but we probably have different motivations behind those actions. It's just like if all nine personality types got stuck in an elevator, each person may react the same way, like pulling out the phone or getting emotional, yelling for help. But the reason behind their action, well, that would be different. It's the same actions, but different motivations. So with this important fact in mind, here are some core motivations attributed to an Enneagram 9. An Enneagram 9 desires to have inner stability and peace of mind. Nines are often mistyped, commonly as type twos and even fours, due to their ability to absorb others' feelings, perspectives, and points of view. A nine has a tendency to merge with others, and they may lose their sense of self, their true identity, beliefs, and autonomy. This can lead to confusion when determining which type they lead with. Nines are motivated by their desire to keep the peace and to create harmony in their environment. A nine prefers to preserve things as they are and to avoid conflicts and tension within themselves and others in their environment. Now, this might lead them to merge with others. And while a nine is naturally slower and not in the assertive types, they do long to know their presence matters to others. This does give them a sense of energy to establish peace and create harmony in their world. Now, with all these tranquil qualities, you might be asking, what's hard for a type nine? The message a nine longs to hear from their parents, spouse, and loved ones is your presence matters. And this means that when they aren't being affirmed for adding value, or even worse, they're outright dismissed, they doubt their place in that relationship or workplace. And when a nine asserts their ideas, opinions, and contribution, take note and when possible, take their lead. Nines do struggle with not knowing what they really want and either caring too much about what others think, or being overlooked, shut out, or in a relationship full of strife. The nines struggle with slawfulness is not strictly about their energy level. It's more about their forgetfulness to attend to their own drives, needs, and desires. So if you are a friend with a nine, or married to one, or are raising one, don't forget to check in to see what they really want or what they're thinking or feeling. Let them know that their opinion matters. Now you may have heard this from me before, but one of the best ways to determine your personality type is when you take a quiz, read or listen to material, filter about what you were most like as a child. Or if you have a hard time remembering that far back, answer the questions or read the material based on your 18-year-old self. So here's a glimpse of what a type 9 might look like as a child. The type 9 child is a great team player and a well-behaved child. Sometimes they feel ignored because they unconsciously tune out even in a room full of people. A type 9 instinctively keeps a low profile and even might merge with their parents' wishes in an effort to maintain the peace. Now, if their home has conflict, they may escape physically by retreating to peaceful places, such as a different room, under or behind a piece of furniture, or maybe even their inner world of imagination as they played with their toys. Especially if they have one or more assertive siblings, they might pull back relationally and physically to not create or add more conflict in the home. Inadvertently, this will reinforce their fear that they are separated from and aren't valued by those who they care for most in their life. Over time, they may even lose their sense of self or authentic preferences in life as they continue to refrain from expressing their unique desires, interests, and opinions. Now, if you know that you're a type 9 and you're a parent, here's some encouragement and caution for you. You are amazing at helping your children be aware of others' points of view. You're supportive, playful, and relax. You are motivated to help your children come to peace with their desires and opinions so you can form deeper relationships with your kids. Your parenting superpower will enable them to exemplify all nine types. And while there are many things to be cautious about as a type 9 parent, here are three practical tips. Your innate desire to avoid conflict sometimes causes you to check out and to be overly permissive. But you must engage regardless of the unrest to create consistency and to follow through with your children. Now, when it comes to training or disciplining your children, you might tend to bring up past mistakes or shortcomings. But here's the deal: your child needs you to just focus on the current experience and have you believe that they can and they will do it better next time. Also, be aware that denying your frustration or zoning out instead of stating your boundaries will eventually lead you to explode out of nowhere with anger and you'll do more harm than good. So take the time to guide your children in the moment and to help them make decisions that in the end will lead to greater unity and harmony. And don't be afraid to hold the line. The Lord did not make a mistake choosing you to be your child's parent. You are making a positive impact, and they truly need you. Now, here's a brief story about one of my Enneagram9 coaching clients. Of course, the name has been changed and the story details adjusted for listening ease. Clarissa spent most of her motherhood fully attentive to her children's needs. She enjoyed accommodating their interests and desires, supporting their whims and ideas. And even though their early childhood years felt demanding and noisy, being a mom was truly one of her greatest joys. As her children got to their teen years, she would find herself fudging the truth. Her kids would come to the dinner table with strong, forceful ideas that were incongruent with her values and beliefs, to which her husband would respond in a heated manner. But Clarissa knew that dinner meals were a precious time to connect with her kids, and she didn't want them to dread the rare times together. So even though she agreed with her husband, she would say things to pacify the kids instead of really what she believed was true. As the kids became more independent, they needed her less and less. Clarissa knew this was a good thing, but at the same time, she felt uneasy that her role was changing. She found herself checking out more and more whether her family was in the vicinity or not. She would get lost in her stack of books or the latest sitcom instead of trying to figure out if her presence mattered to her family. When Clarissa's youngest was about to graduate, he came to her and communicated about that he felt like her actions conveyed that she didn't enjoy being a mom anymore and that maybe she didn't care what he did or didn't do. This honest conversation was Clarissa's wake-up call. During our first coaching conversation, Clarissa confessed, I tend to just numb myself. I avoid conflict and I let myself get distracted by unimportant things when important stuff really needs to be done. And when something feels hard, I procrastinate, feeling paralyzed in my decision making or even in my ability to take action. Clarissa went on to say that she wasn't disorganized, but she did feel really unsettled on the inside. She knew she had a lot of ideas and she was good at making lists, but she often found herself lacking clarity and again making poor use of her time by doing the unimportant things. But after working with Clarissa for six months, it was amazing to see the transformation. One of the first things we addressed was the emotional struggle with anger. Clarissa would have not felt comfortable saying that she was angry, so we spent time identifying the times that she would avoid a person or conversation and began to be able to name the resentment she had been carrying as anger. As Clarissa started working on getting intentional with goal setting and thinking through her interest, now that she had the time to pursue writing and mentorship, she began to feel excited and put effort into doing things that motivated her. It was amazing to see that after just 12 sessions, Clarissa was experiencing clarity about her desires and emotions, plus consistency with the things that mattered. It was exciting to know that Clarissa was going to have so many good things to look forward to and to put her energy towards in this next stage of life. I love good stories like this, don't you? Now, some of this information was sprinkled in the story, but here are specifically seven tips for awareness so if you are nine, you can experience growth in your parenting and workplace. First, be aware that merging with your children and coworkers is a double-edged sword. Second, realize that others are fully aware when you aren't fully engaged. Third, practice the occasional no so you can focus on your interest. Fourth, your actions to maintain the peace may inadvertently communicate wishy-washy standards, plans, or boundaries. Fifth, even if others like to engage in conflict, they still may share the same objective as you peace and harmony. Sixth, ratchet up your energy in animation and communication. And seventh, prioritize the key to healthy workflow and home environment. So friend, if you're in Enneagram 9, I invite you to identify the internal message you may have heard your whole life. And that message is if I ignore the things that disrupt my peace, I can escape the feelings of angst. But here's the thing, you have to make a choice to rest from trying to escape, and no longer escape the anger inside of you. Instead, you give it to the Prince of Peace as you practice moments of stillness and believe this truth from John 16, 33. I have told you all of this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows, but take heart because I have overcome the world. When you view your time with the Lord as the thing that will give you bountiful rest and peace, you will finally feel a supernatural rest and peace that the laziest, most relaxing day cannot adequately provide. Now, I know you are really here to learn about how the Enneagram 9 gets along or doesn't get along with each Enneagram type. But before I give you the highlights, here's the most important fact about Enneagram and relationships. There's no one perfect type for your personality. It's true. All types are compatible. The only question you need to ask yourself when considering a relationship, or how to engage in that relationship, is that person healthy or unhealthy? And this will make a big difference in knowing your level of interaction with that personality. With that being said, here's some general similarities or differences between the types. First up, Enneagram Nines and 1s. Both the 9 wing 1 and the 1 Wing 9 appear very similar, creating confusion about what's uniquely different between the two. Both types will give time and consideration before making a big move, but the one will most likely be ready before the 9. The one will be concerned about doing it right, and the 9 will be considering the momentum needed to begin. But when they join forces, the one can help the 9 get started, and the 9 can help the 1 go at a reasonable pace. The Enneagram 9 and Enneagram 2 are commonly mistaken for one another. But the 9s will struggle with not doing, and the 2s will struggle with doing too much. They can make a great team as they're naturally others focused and they enjoy a supportive role in relationships or work life. Nines can help twos create healthier boundaries when it comes to their overreach and others' lives. The Enneagram Nine and Three have a unique connection in the patterns of stress and growth for the Enneagram types. When the nine is healthy, they begin to exhibit the positive character traits of the three by walking in confidence that they do have something valuable to offer and their full participation in life is desired by others. And just like Newton's law, an object in motion stays in motion. The nine will be a great asset to the overworked threes and remind them to take a break and enjoy life a little bit more. Now, when it comes to the Enneagram 9s and Enneagram 4s, I've recently had several clients who originally suspected they were an Enneagram 9, but after a couple of sessions, it was clear that they were a type 4. Both personality types are prone to retreating when it comes to conflict, and they might get stuck in the past and their inner world of reflection. In relationships, the 9 offers the 4 a sense of belonging that they desire, and the four can help the 9 identify their unique interests and pursuits. The Enneagram 9 and 5 also share a similar retreating pattern and conflict, but the 9 will be others aware while the 5 will be process aware. The 5 will help the 9 formulate a plan and a process that will result in steady results. But the key is both of these personalities need to rely on their patterns of growth to take action. Both are also going to have to make sure they're speaking up to share their needs. The Enneagram 9 and the Enneagram 6 also have a unique connection in their patterns of stress of growth. The nine will exhibit the low levels of health of the six when they are stressed. They'll become more anxious and stuck in indecision. When the nine and six are in relationship, though, they will gain a sense of caution from the sixes when deciding on partnerships or even discerning who they should receive counsel from. The nine is trusting and would rather ignore their initial negative discernment because it causes unrest. Whereas the six is initially distrusting and willing to make sure their loyalty is earned. I've mentioned once or twice that I am an Enneagram 7 and my husband is an Enneagram 9. So I'm very familiar with the benefits and cautions in this combination. Oh, and I was interviewed on my friend Krista Harden's podcast, Enneagram and Marriage. It's the episode titled A Romance Recharge with Amy Wicks. Enneagram types seven and nine, which happens to be episode seven of season four. So if you want to learn more about our dynamic and further insights of this combo, you might want to take a listen. But some of the highlights I'll share today about the Enneagram 7 and the Enneagram 9 is that they are both open-minded and generally positive about life. They both err on the side of reframing and want to avoid grief for their unique reasons. The 9's stability and realistic approach to life help level out the 7's impulsive enthusiasm. Now, the Enneagram 9 and an Enneagram 8 can be a fabulous combination if the 8 allows space for the opinions and the autonomy the 9 not only requires, but desires. The 9s could succumb to the unhealthy snow plowing tendencies of the 8, but they can make a great team when it's mutually respectful, and the 9 enforces the boundaries that are important to them. Last but not least, an Enneagram 9 with an Enneagram 9. Well, yeah, it happens all the time. Not just marriage, but friends, parent-child, co-workers, all the things. And here's the deal: a nine with a nine, oh, it's such sweet harmony. Both really will get each other's need to feel valuable, but they'll probably err on the side of taking too long to make a decision, or find themselves at a passive impasse. There will be equal responsibility for the both of them to step up and take leadership when needed to and assert their opinion when it matters. This nine and nine combo will have to caution themselves to not just let life pass them by, but to make things happen together. There is so much to consider and reflect on today. I'd love to hear what did you learn? Did you think of someone who would appreciate this information on the Enneagram 9? Maybe it's someone who's living with a 9 and they need a better understanding of how to relate to all the types. Or perhaps you're a 9 and you want your people to know more about what makes you you. Just use this podcast app share feature and pass along this with a little note about what you learned today. Now, if you listen to this whole episode, then you're about to finally hear the most valuable insight about the nines that has been the most transformative to me. While it's true that a nine struggles with confrontation, it's more about being asleep to their wants, desires, and opinions. But once a type 9 is awake to those insights about themselves, watch out because you will have a true peacemaker and an ambitious go-getter on your hands. A healthy 9 will be your faithful comrade, the one you can count on to get things done, done well, while leading with grace and eloquence. Remember, friend, the inside of the Enneagram doesn't put you in a box. Instead, when you combine your newfound self-awareness with the power of the gospel, you can get free of the box that you feel stuck in. Next week, I'll be back with the episode All About the Enneagram 1 as we make our way through this new series. There's so much to share with you. I can't wait. Until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your wholehearted life.
