Enneagram Ones | Thriving at Work and Home

Welcome to the second episode of the Nine Types Spring Series. And this special episode is dedicated to learning all about the Enneagram One!

You will want to listen to each episode of this series if you know your Enneagram Type or are beginning your personality discovery journey! You will also want to share this special 9-part series so that your friends and family can learn about the Enneagram and maybe figure out their personality Type. Best of all if you listen to learn about each Type it will really help you know how to strengthen your relationships no matter their Type. Whether you are married, raising kids,, or working with others, chances are that you are interacting with all the Nine Enneagram personalities!

Past episodes about Enneagram Ones:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tending-to-your-soul-part-1-with-author-and/id1216920050?i=100052008627

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cheers-to-a-wholehearted-you-marjorie-poff-enneagram-one/id1216920050?i=1000546239476

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-and-the-holidays-enneagram-one-jennifer-james/id1216920050?i=1000544811377

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scripture-as-a-habit-jen-pollock-michel-enneagram-one/id1216920050?i=1000524579677

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/simply-wholehearted-podcast/id1216920050?i=1000494613121

Amy's Enneagram Momprenuer Guide free PDF found here!

Take the new Enneagram Quiz here!

Follow Amy on IG
Amy's Website

The Enneagram can name your patterns. It can't set you free from them. That's the difference between insight and transformation, and it's the whole focus of this summit.

Learn more, check out the speakers & get your free seat!

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/wholehearted-2026

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 1:41

Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a Jesus and Enneagram enthusiast. As a wife, mama of three humans, and a fur baby, I get it. Juggling entrepreneurship in a family is challenging, but I believe the Lord does want your work to be enjoyable. As an Enneagram type 7, I am all about the fun factor. And this podcast is here to help you put the joy back into working mom life. So you can see 1 Timothy 6.17 come to pass in your own thing. It's a verse that says, God has given us all things to enjoy. All friends, it means all. Motherhood, work from home life, or work out of the home life. With the Lord's help, there's truly a way to feel calm, balance, joy, clarity, and peace in any arena of life. Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast, where you can expect solo-style and interview-style episodes that are full of faith-based concepts, simple ideas, Enneagram insights, alongside practical tips to help you put that smile back on your face when it comes to doing life with Jesus. Now get your headphones and head to that big pile of dishes in the sink. Or maybe that bathroom that needed cleaning two weeks ago. And let's get to learning together. You will want to listen to each episode of the series whether you know your Enneagram type or you're just beginning your personality discovery journey. I'm confident that you'll also probably want to share this special nine-part series so that way your friends and family can learn about the Enneagram and maybe they'll even figure out their personality type. Best of all, if you listen to learn about each type, it will help you know how to strengthen your relationships, no matter what their type is. Because whether you are married, raising kids, or working with others, chances are that you are interacting with all nine Enneagram personalities. And best of all, friend, have you heard this well-kept secret? You are able to utilize character traits of all nine types because you are made in God's image. And the triune nature of God is all the nine types and more. You can reflect God's nature and all of his character traits too, when you are living as a beloved child of your Heavenly Father. Scripture wouldn't tell us to be imitators of Christ if it wasn't possible. So listen in to see what positive attributes you can learn about each Enneagram personality. All nine episodes of this spring series is going to focus on one Enneagram number per episode, and you're going to get a deep dive in less than 30 minutes. I'll be sharing things like a list of typical attributes, what that personality type may look like as a child, how this personality responds to stress, and how to celebrate good character traits, or be aware of workplace and parenting hangups and cautions. I'm also going to provide an overview of how each personality types connects with all the other nine types. And of course, I can't do this all without sharing a good story along the way. And I'm also going to save an important detail for the last 60 seconds of the episode. It's going to be an important fact about that type that I think everyone should know. By the way, if you're already in my wholehearted Enneagram community, you already received my free Enneagram for Mompreneurs Guide. But if not, you can still get your copy today. It is the Enneagram guidebook for moms who desire to thrive in their faith, family, and business. Just use the link in the show notes or head to simply wholehearted.com to get your free copy of the beautiful PDF with content for each Enneagram personality. You can gain even more understanding of your type's strengths, your weaknesses, and get guidance for the small pivots that you can make. Alright, are you ready for the checklist for Enneagram 1 character traits? Here are 10 common traits of an Enneagram 1. One, the inner critic is constant. Two, you are very aware of right and wrong. Three, mistakes equal failure in your eyes. Four, to-do lists are your friend, and you're hyper aware of your responsibilities and those around you. You involuntarily see what needs to be fixed. You struggle with being spontaneous. 7. Truth, justice, and fairness are very important to you. 8. Either you don't feel like there's enough time to relax, or you don't feel like you have permission to relax. 9. Very rarely would you not follow through on a commitment or do what you said you were going to do. 10. Your struggle with anger turns inward and becomes resentment. Did you nod your head to most of these traits? Or did someone come to mind that fits this description? If you answered yes, you might be an Enneagram one, or you might know someone who is. But before we go any further today together, here is one of the most essential facts about the Enneagram that you need to know. The Enneagram identifies motivations, not outward behavior. Yes, there are common character traits or behavior patterns of each personality type, but the question to always ask yourself is what is the motivation behind the action? Or what is the core fear, longing, desire, or emotion behind your or their conduct? Now you and I may have done the same things in life, such as finding your soulmate, growing a family, starting a business, but we most likely have different motivations behind those actions. And this illustration as well is a good understanding of the differences between action and motivation. If all nine types got stuck in an elevator, each person may react the same way, such as pulling up their phone, maybe getting emotional, yelling for help. But the reason behind their action would be different. Same actions, but different motivations. Now with this important fact in mind, let's continue with a few core motivations attributed to the Enneagram 1. An Enneagram 1 desires to have integrity and balance. They long to be virtuous, ethical, and good. A one is also an idealist, which keeps them in their anger-resentment loop. Their resentment can shape a one's social tendencies, which are rooted in the duty to uphold the ideal. It can wear thin on people, but it also can invite loads of compassion as this is just a glimpse of the inner critic that they endure in their mind all day long. One's desire to be right and have integrity and chief balance, which means they want to improve themselves, others, and the world. They want to be consistent with their ideals and they also want to be above criticism so no one else can condemn them. And because they desire to overcome adversity, specifically moral adversity, this can lead them to believe the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. This really enables them to lead others to higher values, even if it means they have to sacrifice their desired routine, personal goals, or be the only one who stands out in the crowd because they are following the rules. With all of these excellent qualities about this personality type, you might be asking, well, what's hard for a type 1? The type 1 message that they long to hear from their parents, spouse, or loved ones is to hear that they are good and right. And this means that a type 1 will often struggle with not feeling good enough. So whenever they get corrected or their actions are called into question, they may fear rejection due to their inadequacy. Ones can easily become tense and anxious, and they might take things too seriously. Especially when a one has unmet expectations, they'll take on a load of responsibility and feel like they are never good enough. They may second guess themselves, their work, conversations, and relationships, and they feel like they are wanting and lacking. You may have heard me say before that it's important when you take an Enneagram quiz or you read a book or listen to material that you need to filter the questions or the content with what was I most like as a child, or what was I like as an 18-year-old. So I thought it'd be helpful to add in a little glimpse of what a type one might look like as a child. The one may be critical of themselves and others and they'll hold back negative emotions. Most likely they will be a responsible kid and they will focus on living up to the expectations set by the adults around them. That might be parents, teachers, even extended family members. The type 1 child is intent on obeying the rules, though often those rules or standards were formed by an innate sense of right and wrong, not necessarily what was set by others. This approach may be what forms their independent spirit, and they don't need as much direction or correction from their authority figures. Now that inner critic, that nasty mean girl voice, well, it shows up early for a type one, and it may even feel like a bully. It can be very pertinent in their youth, just as much as in their adult years, which does cause them to take any form of outward criticism or discipline very seriously. The type 1 child is also not as likely to take on new projects or join in unknown adventures at the risk of failing or not doing the task perfectly. The type 1 child is also prone to do only one task at a time because they are driven by a desire for perfection. Now, if you know you're a type 1 and you are a parent, here's some very specific encouragement and caution for you. You are so consistent and you're focused on disciplining fairly, you encourage responsibility, and you really do help your children form strong moral values. You strongly believe everyone should do their part and you're often aware of everyone else's responsibilities. You are motivated to overcome adversity with goodness and light in your parenting. And you will do such a great job parenting your kids to believe the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. Your parenting superpower will enable you to challenge your kids to higher values, even if you have to make personal sacrifices. Of course, there are things to be cautious about as a type 1 parent, so here are three practical tips for you. When you discipline or training your kids to do something new, you might over talk about the current situation. And your kids, they might be ready to move on or they might need some time to withdraw from the situation. You also have a strong idea of the right way or the wrong way to do something. But the truth is, well, there's probably more than one way to do it. So take time to listen to their ideas. Bring in their input. And also, your child needs an exponential amount of grace and mercy through the years. But first, you need to receive God's grace for yourself. And friend, there is no perfect parent, but you are exactly the parent your kids need. Now, here's an inspiring story about one of my Enneagram One coaching clients. And of course, as I've mentioned before, the name has been changed and the story details adjusted for listening ease. When Alexia filled out the coaching form for our first call, she wrote, I missed so many special moments because I could only see the mess. I've lived a life so far as a task constantly needing to fix something instead of accepting the imperfect. Alexia says it was hard for her to admit in our first discovery session that something was not right in her household. And what she was afraid to say is that there was actually something very wrong. If we could take a peek behind her curtain two years ago, Alexia's strict controlling regimen was suffocating her children, her husband, and even her small business team. And while others were unhappy because of her need for control, her inner voice was way more critical of herself. But what she hated most was that it wouldn't take much for her inner critic voice to come out of her mouth and also be used on her people. Alexia's mental and physical health was taking a toll due to stress beyond her control, especially when she was unable to correct or fix things. It led her to feeling deeply flawed all the dang time. Now, in order to cope with the stress, she was stuffing her emotions down, and her disappointment slowly turned into resentment towards herself and everyone within her reach. Alexia found that booking her coaching sessions, it was a challenge. In fact, as she was initially filling out the coaching form, it took her four tries before she was willing to submit her honest evaluation. And when Alexia joined me for the first session and she heard more about the type one's behavior patterns, it made her feel squeamish and uncomfortable. But she also began to get a glimmer of hope that it wouldn't always have to be this way. The fresh presentation of the truth that God's unconditional mercy and grace was suddenly not for everyone else, but for her as well. And this sparked her desire for freedom. Alexia would begin to practice emotional regulation, become more comfortable with her emotions, and she learned how to rest from the need to fix everything. The specific sessions on stress, emotional attunement, and contemplative practice took Alexia's awareness to the next level, and she began to have clear deciphering of the inner critic voice. No longer did she view her inner critic voice as God's words about her and towards her. She also began practicing rest and stillness, which helped her become more comfortable processing disappointment and letting go of the resentment that had built up over time. Together in our coaching sessions, we also identified a few practical ways to implement the grace and mercy that Alexia was learning to receive towards herself. First, she needed to adapt to her kids' maturity by giving them more autonomy and the ability to make decisions. In short, she had to cut the umbilical cord for their moral development. And it wasn't become totally hands-off, but instead have open hands and surrender to the Lord and God's care and control. Alexia also began to pray that the Lord would show her how to exchange her high expectations for holy anticipation. She thoughtfully began to make more time for fun and celebration. Alexia truly felt so much joy when she realized how often she was able to live more at peace with herself and her people. And plus, she set realistic goals without needing to achieve them perfectly. So, do you remember what I shared, what Alexia wrote on her coaching form before our first session? To save you from skipping back, I'll share it here again. She wrote, I missed so many special moments because I could only see the mess. I lived life so far as a task, constantly needing to fix something instead of accepting the imperfect. So, can you imagine how thrilled I was when Alexia filled out her feedback form after our 12 months of coaching together? She wrote, It's all exactly as it should be, without me controlling the outcome. I am experiencing the beauty of the chaotic moments with those I love. Now wow. That's amazing. I'm smiling so big right now. How about you? If you are a type one, here are seven tips for awareness so you too can experience growth. These are some of what you heard in the story today. But you can take these seven ideas and apply them to your parenting and workplace. First, be careful of the diligence with which you may go about trying to convince others of the rightness of your approach. Second, receive the truth that you are a good enough parent, spouse, and leader. Third, practice expressing legitimate anger over unfairness or unjustice. Fourth, don't should your life. Enough said, right? Fifth, stop dismissing the need and joy of spontaneity. This applies to having fun with your kids, your spouse, and even coworkers. Sixth, break the cycle of judgment towards yourself before it spills out on others. And seventh, remember, giving 100% is enough. Yep, I'll say it again, a hundred percent is enough. So my Enneagram one friend, when you finally identify the internal message that you've heard your whole life, if I do everything perfect and right, then I'm good and okay. When you choose to lay that down and instead rest from the desire to fix what it's broken, you can accept God's gift of grace. So as you practice moments of stillness, listen to this truth from Romans 8, 15. In the Passion Translation it reads, And you did not receive the spirit of religious duty, leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But instead you have received the spirit of full acceptance, enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, beloved father. If you're a type one, I hope you let these words wash over you today. Now, I bet that most of you are really here to learn about how the Enneagram one gets along or doesn't get along with each type. But before I give you the highlights, here's the most important fact about the Enneagram and relationships. There is no one perfect type for your personality. In short, all types are compatible. The only question to ask yourself when considering a relationship, or if you're wondering how to engage into a relationship, is to ask, is that person healthy or unhealthy? That will make the biggest difference, and it will give you the idea of how much interaction that you're going to have with that person, regardless of their personality. So with that in mind, here's some general similarities or differences between the types. When an Enneagram 1 gets together with another Enneagram 1, they will both desire to make things better or fix it. But if they have stronger dominant wings, their approach and intensity will look different. The struggle will not be to pull one another down with their perpetual dissatisfaction or using perfection as a measurement in the relationship or work project. The Enneagram 1 Wing 9 will be a little bit more easygoing and convinced to take a rest. The Enneagram 1-wing 2, well, it might be a little harder to slow them down and get them to rest from the need to help everybody else. Now an Enneagram 1 and an Enneagram 2 both fall in the dutiful communication style, which if you haven't listened to episode 139, you might want to listen to that next to helps explain these communication differences. But the Enneagram 1 and Enneagram 2 both approach their relationships and tasks differently. A one will be more practical and task focused, and the two, they'll be more relational and others focused. This can be a frustrating combination when collaborating on a project. But if it's understood up front, it can actually cultivate a win win situation where both the task is accomplished while also being mindful of the people involved. Now both the Indian Instagram one and three love checking things off their to-do lists and they are go-getters. In fact, when you put them on a task together, they will shine, and they'll probably accomplish more than the rest of us. But the one will approach almost all situations with their ideals and they'll be very confident of the right or correct way to do it. The three, on the other hand, will commonly focus on the most efficient way to finish, even if it means cutting corners. Both will have to compromise in order to mitigate frustration, and they both can be really happy with the final result when they do this. The Enneagram one and Enneagram 4 share a unique connection and growth and stress. So when they're in a relationship or in a working environment, there is a lot to glean from each other. The one struggles with repression of their emotional needs. And the four is very focused and aware of feelings. The one will help the four to stay focused and see things through to the end. And the four will help the one get out of their dualistic approach or thinking and still be engaged with their feelings. When you put an Enneagram one and five together well for the one it could be a little unnerving because for a one silence equals judgment. But a five is often just taking in information and is not very expressive. So this can mean the Enneagram one might jump to conclusions about the five in relationships thinking that they are deeming them not good enough or perhaps even being flawed. But when the type one can grow more comfortable with the silence they can make a strong strategic team both with their ability to focus and to make things right plus the type one strength to implement the plan. The Enneagram 1 and 6 share some of the similarities of the 2 and the 1 combination, but the six will be more focused on the strategy or possible scenarios. The type 1 will most likely believe their way is the right way or that there is only one way, so it's important for the one to approach this collaboration willing to hear and try other ideas. The six may instinctively discern the doubtfulness of the one to their ideas, but it's still important to share your approach and trust that the relationship can handle the give and take needed to arrive at a good decision for everyone. The type one and type seven also share a unique connection of growth and stress. So when they're in relationship or in a working environment there's so much to glean from one another. The one needs more fun and spontaneity that the seven is happy to offer but the seven may get weary of asking the one to lighten up a little and to even take a break. Sevens, let me tell you keep asking your type one friends or coworkers or family and Enneagram ones you need to believe me when I say it's not irresponsible to enjoy life and play with your people all right the Enneagram ones with the Enneagram eights there is actually a great deal of similarity of these two types but oftentimes there's not a lot of harmony and unity. And this is due to the fact that both types truly believe that their viewpoints are correct 99% of the time if not a hundred at least when they're not aware and not really being open-minded. If the one and the eight share the same opinion they'll be unstoppable agents of change. But if this parent can't agree to disagree there will be strife and they're likely to want to part ways. Last but not least the Enneagram one with the Enneagram 9s. Both the nine wing one and the one wing nine can appear very similar, creating confusion about what is uniquely different between the two types. Both types struggle with repressing anger but they do it for different reasons. The one will be concerned about doing the right thing and not looking corrupt because of their anger. And the nine will be hesitant to acknowledge their anger because of the discomfort it creates within themselves or the tension with others. But when these two personality types come together they can be agents of change for peace and goodness Wow friend that was a lot to share. What did you learn today? Did you think of someone who would appreciate learning more about the Enneagram one? Maybe you are living with the Enneagram one and you want them to understand more about themselves or how to relate to all the types or maybe you are an Enneagram one and you want your people to know more about what makes you you just use this app's share feature and pass along the info with a little note about what you learned today. And if you listen to this whole episode then I am going to share one of the most valuable insights that I have learned and that has strengthened my relationships with Enneagram Ones. Have you ever vacationed with a type one? Well I know sevens traditionally hold the reputation for being the entertainer but a healthy one that goes on vacation might even be more fun. If you live with love or know a type one invite them to do something that allows them to shift out of their normal routine or environment. Have a plan in place and watch them relax and be playful and enjoy themselves. When a type one is able to step out of their normal rigorous daily demands they will let their hair down and their only concern will be making sure no one is bored. And remember my type one friend the mess and the change of routine is so worth the adventure and memory go have some fun today with your people next week I'll be back with the episode all about the Enneagram 2 as we make our way through this new series. I can't wait to share all the goodness with you. Until next time continue to pursue God's perspective purpose and plans for your wholehearted life