Graduation and the Enneagram with Payge Wicks

It’s bittersweet with my daughter Payge on the show to celebrate Graduation. We talk through thoughtful questions and encouragement for each Enneagram type that you can ask and pass along to the graduate in your life, including:

-- What are you excited about, nervous about?
-- What advice would you give to incoming high school students or younger siblings?
-- Who influenced you or helped shape your high school experience?
-- Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?
-- What are you most proud of accomplishing?
-- Graduation encouragement and tips for each Enneagram type 

The Enneagram can name your patterns. It can't set you free from them. That's the difference between insight and transformation, and it's the whole focus of this summit.

Learn more, check out the speakers & get your free seat!

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/wholehearted-2026

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach. You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling. If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community. This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire. So let's get started. Paige, I'm so excited to have you back on the podcast today. And I'm just thrilled to have a new updated conversation together for our Simply Wholehearted Library. It's definitely been a couple years.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

I can't remember, I think the last time we talked about just like my type and what I felt about that and how I discovered that. But yeah, it was pretty fun. A couple years ago though.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

It was a while ago. My hope and my prayer for this conversation is that it wouldn't just be self-indulgent because it is a little indulgent to get to have you come on and have this conversation, ask you these questions because maybe I wouldn't at this point. But I am hoping to capture a conversation that would evoke curiosity in others and inspire and encourage those who are graduating or those who are relationship with or parenting those who are graduating. So my objective here today is to show an example of curiosity. And curiosity serves us so well in parenting and in all relationships by modeling a few questions that you can turn around and use either with your child, your grandchild, the graduation parties that you're going to, and you can just hear an example of what answers you might get. And at the end of this conversation, Paige, you and I are going to share different encouragements and tips for each Enneagram type who is graduating. And this can go two ways. Those of you who are listening, and if you aren't graduating, don't just tune it out. I would love for you to utilize the information to add it to a card for a graduate or to speak a word of encouragement or even a prayer and a blessing. Or you can even send this conversation to encourage someone who's graduating high school or college. So what do you think, Paige? Do you think this sounds like a good idea?

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Of course. Yes, I do. I think everyone should have an idea whether it applies to them or not, of the questions or the things to encourage their fellow friends, either family members, friends, just as they step into the next big part of their life.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

So it is kind of a scary step. It's a big step. And for some more than others, maybe like you can share a little bit, you're stepping far away and out of the nest, if you will. And I know others maybe just going down the road or still living at home and uh maybe doing a trade or just a couple years of junior college. Everybody has a different path, but it's still a big decision to stay, to go, to be out of the comfort of just what has been known for the last four years or more. So with that question, let's start the positive. What are you excited about? And then what are you nervous about as you are graduating high school and stepping into the big world of college?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yes, um, it is daunting, but also very exciting. I'd say the the first thing that comes to mind when I'm thinking about what I'm excited for is the college experience. I mean, most people talk it up and um get, you know, hype it up and are super excited for it. And I think that's what I'm super excited for is to have the independence and the schedule of a college student. I much prefer it to a high school schedule and just the freedom to be productive um in many different ways makes me feel more accomplished in a way. So I'm excited about that. And to make new friends and to meet new people and just be challenged academically, um spiritually, because I'm going to a Christian university and yeah, just be challenged in many different ways that I know I'll grow from because it's important to be challenged. What I'm nervous about, I'd say it's being 17 hours away from home because that is um that's definitely it's a step. Yeah, it's gonna be weird because I've been in the same place for 15 years, and so making that huge leap will definitely be challenging. I'll miss my family. Have ability to come home during the weekends, so that will be a challenge. But I know these things will help me grow into an independent person. Um, but I'll still come and visit my family as much as possible. But I'm excited but nervous about the big step that I'm taking. It's the next four or five years of my life and it won't ever be the same, but it's a good, a good step in a new chapter that's important to take as a person.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

So it is a big step, a hard step, and yet I agree. I think that has been part of our family culture is talking about this moment of launching and guiding you guys, you know, all three of you, and obviously you're the first one to make this leap, but guiding you in that decision of hey, we want you to step into something different and maybe away from us and out of our house in order to birth that growth. And in that, I got some advice along the way that it is even a good idea, no matter how close your new college student is, is to say, no, you can't come home for the first six weeks. Even if you could come home for a weekend unless something crazy happens, stay in your new culture, new setting for six weeks. Allow yourself to get comfortable, to be a little bit homesick, to make those connections. So this unfortunately has been done for us uh where there's no easy way to get home in the first six weeks or before the six-week mark. But at least we do have something planned that we'll get to see you, I think, in roughly seven weeks into your first semester. So I will be holding on to that. I promise. It will be. Okay. What advice would you give to either high school students now or new high school students, or even what you would tell Haiti or Miles that as they look to graduating themselves, what are some high points that you'd say, hey, do this, try that, don't be afraid of this, or enjoy this or enjoy that? I know it could be a lot of different things, but what came to your mind as you heard this question?

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Um, let's see. First thing is get those college credits in. That's really practical, but it saves your parents a lot of money and it and in a way, and also kind of introduces you to a college class feel, and you can get the idea what that's gonna look like, what the homework load is like, what's the the um interaction between your classmates? Um, obviously it's an online thing, or it could be in person, but it just depends. It teaches you how to grow in that and it kind of gives you a sneak peek that I would say is really helpful for me because it gives me more of an idea of what um this fall will look like.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

And to interrupt really quick, Paige, I want to give clarity. So you have the privilege and the ability to do dual enrollment, which is available as either AP classes or in public school settings. It can sometimes even be free depending on your state. So just to give a little nod, we have the ability at our private school to find a college to dual enroll. So Paige had the privilege of getting, oh my goodness, how many credits do you have? You have a lot of college credits. Yeah, a good 30 credits over the last couple of years that she's able to transfer into the college that she'll be attending this fall. So that's kind of what she's alluding to. If you can push yourself a little bit, maybe take some dual enrollment, it can be very helpful.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Yes, yes. Thank you for clarifying. Um, another thing I'd say is explore your dreams as for your future career. So, shadowing, I didn't do a lot of shadowing, but I'd like to talk to the people the field that I'm going into. But for those who are like, want to be a nurse or veterinarian or want to be a chef, like go, do not be worried or you know, think that you're a problem, but just go and ask and um get your questions answered and see them at work and so you kind of can gauge what you'd like your next couple years to look like or the the goal of the next couple years to end up being. Um, so I think that's super important to, you know, like just learn the path that you're gonna be on, and also gleaning the wisdom from the people around you because something I've learned is that um the people who really love you will see things about you and point them out and encourage you to step into something that you could be gifted at and you can thrive in. And so listen to those people and take that advice because it's very valuable. So, yeah, those are kind of my two main things that I would think as you're pursuing college either in four years, three years, two years, the same like this fall, it's important to have those things in mind. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

I think those are great tips. Now, for you, as you review the last several years, who's been a teacher or a mentor or friend who has really impacted these last several years? How have they influenced you or even helped shape this next step? Um, you did kind of allude to talking to people. I know you've gotten input from those that you care about along the way. So, anything in addition to that?

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Um, I would say my homeroom teacher, she encouraged me and just like had those conversations with me of being excited for my future and her being like, oh, you know, um, I see this in you, and I think you should really hone into it and learn more about it and explore it. Um that's been super encouraging. Like my parents, my family have just encouraged me to pursue something that I would like to do, but also push me to do hard things so I can be prepared for college life because it's not hard, but it's also not easy. And so it's important to be ready for the challenge. But I'd say family and my teachers have really been supportive and pushing me, but also encouraging me along the way. The last couple, I'd say, seven-ish years I've been in the same school. So yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Okay, so you get the benefit of being in a private Christian school, and there's been a lot of learning along the way. You guys get the privilege to memorize all 107 catechisms, which is just blows my mind. I couldn't memorize one to save my life. But you have that, you go through speech and debate, you do other Bible classes, you have a lot of spiritual education involved with this. And I hope that out a lot is caught and taught in our home as well. But how's having that spiritual environment been helpful for you as a person as you step into it? It is going to be a Christian school, but it's not uh predominantly a Christian school. It's a huge campus and they don't make you sign a statement of faith and all of that. So, what is it that you've learned in these last years about your faith and that environment that you take with you?

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Um, so we have the uh the things we have had to memorize um to lean upon, the the whole book of Philippians, we have some psalms memorized. Yeah, we have a lot of the Bible memorized, a lot of scripture here and there, and also the catechisms, but I also really appreciate that they've taught us through the speech and debate as well to talk about and kind of learn about other people's ideas and beliefs and to not just like impose our own on it or just stop at our own beliefs and not listen but yond everything because people have things to say and they're legitimate. Um, and it's important to grow a connection with someone, to hear what they have to say and have a conversation with them because it builds our own faith, and you can reveal something to those people who may believe something different than you, just the the truth of the scripture and of what you believe. But I'm so grateful for the spiritual mentorship that you know my Bible teacher has given me, and also learn to um spend time with the Lord in your Bible or learn things from the Bible that you have may have read over and over again. But there's always more in that verse that you can glean from, and it's important to lean on that if you're alone and you don't have many Christian friends, but you have the Bible to lean upon, and it it can inspire, strengthen you, and to help you have you help you have good conversations with people. So yeah, those are important things I'd I'm so grateful for.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Thanks for letting me put you on the spot. That was a really good answer. That was so authentic, guys. You have no idea. Okay, so looking over these last several years, or maybe even your childhood, you can go as far as you want. You have a good memory. But is there anything you wish that you had done differently or any regrets? And this is all for the purpose of zero shame, zero regrets. But how would you encourage someone else that you think, oh, this maybe would have been helpful, or wish I had done it sooner, or anything around those?

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah, so kind of like I mentioned what the like important things to do as you're reaching graduation stage. Um learning more under the people you want to be in the future. I wish I had done that a little bit more, but I I in my mind I lost the importance until now how like important it is to really know like what the result of the next four years could look like for you, what your career could look like, because it's important. And if it's something that you wouldn't do, you should know a lot about it. I'm a res kind of a researcher, and so I'd like to know what the next stage would be like, and so that's how I look at that. But honestly, I think everything that I've done has left me here, and whether it was good or whether it was bad, I don't remember. My it's shaped me to be the person that I am now, and I'm grateful for it because um I just made me look forward to and feel ready for the next couple of years. But I'd say also, save your money, kids, like please. Um I wish I had um put more money and time into college, and it, you know, I'll still work and uh make an effort now, but I think it would have been a little bit easier if I had made a little bit more effort earlier, and I didn't see the importance when I'm younger, but now I do, and I wish I had evaluated the importance of finances for college a little bit more, but yeah, I think save the money for college, even though it seems silly and so adult-ish, it's important to do. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

This is good advice, and you know, we're as those who've been in the community for a while know that we are financial peace people. So we've done our best to instill even using the every dollar app on a regular basis, but it is really hard. I all the adults can nod their heads to the plan for college, save for college. And so our plan and prayer is to do college debt-free. And our school of choice is based off of this because there were other school options that were phenomenal, but the price tag was koo koo kouch, and we're very grateful. I mean, this college is still a privilege and still incredible opportunity. Um, Paige is not disappointed in her options, but it still costs money. Surprise. Anyway, I love that advice, Paige. I think that is is really good. So as we go on to think about what you've accomplished, you've done a lot. I got to brag about a little bit, some of your college credit, dual enrollment that you have under your belt, but there's been some other special achievements or milestones. So, what are the things that you're reflecting on and celebrating as you cross that stage, if you will?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

I would say not to brag anything, but um I've done, I think, my best in academics keeping my grades either like B's or A's, most of them A's, and I've really tried to work hard to utilize the advantage that our school gives us to have a second chance to redo something and to know it better. And for the graciousness of my teachers, just leaning upon that and taking advantage of that in a good way to improve my grades. And I'd say I have really awesome grades, and I've worked towards that my entire school career, and I'm grateful for that because that gets scholarships and you get money for that, and you get honored for that because I mean you got you worked hard and you should be honored for that. I also would say I'm graduating a year early. Um, so I think that's pretty cool to say that you get to move on to this next step earlier in life than some other people. Again, it's also sad because it means the chapter of childhood ends sooner, but it's also pretty cool to say, like, oh yeah, you know, I did it, I could do it, and they trusted me with my high school diploma and said that you can move on to this next stage of life with confidence that you knew you will do your best in excellence. So that's pretty cool too.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

It is cool. I tend to forget that sometimes because I was so anti-graduating early. I just let the hearer understand. I, when we were talking about this a year ago, I'm thinking, no way, I want two more years, all the things. So I want for the record to say I'm not a huge proponent of graduating early. I think you have to really discern, get clear with the Lord. Is your child ready? Are they clear on the next step? Is the next step ready for them at the age they are going to be to enter into it? So there's a lot of factors, but we prayerfully considered it and did our research. As Paige alluded to, we we did make an informed decision. But yeah, it's a huge accomplishment. It's just sad for mom and dad. Yeah, especially when you're going so far. So uh this is good. There's so many other great questions to ask. And I hope just us exampling some of these is helpful for you as you have your graduation parties this weekend or next weekend, and maybe even into next month, right? We all are have different seasons of graduations depending where you are in the country or even the world. But I hope you can just see what a beautiful conversation can come from. A couple of simple questions asked in a way that gives space and time to be answered and to even be processed. And you know, sometimes it can lead to something else. With that, I want to give you these insights and encouragement for each Enneagram type as they go across the stage, as they get their diploma and step into the next season. I think is important to speak words of life. It's so powerful. Life and death is in the tongue, and this is an amazing opportunity, a marked moment for so many where we can speak life and vision and to these young people. And so Paige and I are going to go back and forth sharing for the different types. So take a minute, maybe draw down a note for if something stands out to you and you know you've got an Enneagram A graduating, maybe write down some of the words to encourage them. Or again, like I said, send the share button to someone who would enjoy listening to this episode and being encouraged along the way by these things. So, Paige, you're up first and you're gonna read the type 9.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Okay, for the type 9, I want to inspire you to continue to foster harmony and connection-you relationships, but make sure you assert your needs and desires. They are important. Uh, don't be afraid to speak up and take initiative when necessary. Your voice does truly matter.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Type eight, I want to encourage you to use your strength and determination to advocate for yourself and others, but also remember to listen to different perspectives and be open to collaboration. True leadership comes from empowering others, not just asserting authority.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

For my lovely type one, I want you to remember to embrace imperfection and allow yourself to make mistakes. Growth often comes from learning through experience, not from striving for perfection.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Type two, I want to inspire you to continue to be generous and caring towards others, but also remember to prioritize your needs and well-being. It's okay to ask for help when you need it.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Type three is pursue your goals with passion and determination, but also take time to reflect on what truly brings you fulfillment and happiness. Success is about achieving external milestones and finding purpose and meeting in your pursuits and your relationships.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Type four, embrace your uniqueness and creativity, but remember that seeking stability and practicality in your endeavors is okay. Find the balance between expressing your individuality and engaging with the world around you.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

For my amazing type fives, continue to pursue knowledge and seek understanding, but also remember to engage with the world beyond your thoughts and ideas, build meaningful connections with others and allow yourself to be venerable.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

For our courageous type six, trust yourself and your abilities, even in the face of uncertainty. Cultivate resilience and adaptability, and remember you do have the strength to overcome the challenges.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

And for my enthusiastic type seven, I want you to embrace your sense of adventure and curiosity. Learn to appreciate the present moment and find joy in the simple things. Cultivate mindfulness and gratitude as you navigate life's new experiences.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

And yes, so I'm going to practice what I preach, Paige. And in these last few months, we've tried to be intentional your whole life, but we are soaking in every moment, being fully present while looking ahead, but taking in the simple joys, whether it's night binging on Downton Abbey, a run to Billy's grocery for a gluten-free treat, or just sitting and talking on your bedroom floor. Every moment is so precious.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Dang it, I said I wasn't gonna do this. But hey, I waited till the end. And I hope that we get to do many more of these in the future. Minus the tears.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Okay, friends, I think that's a wrap. I hope you didn't mind the tears.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

But take these opportunities to celebrate and support those who are stepping into big new things and remind them that they have what it takes and that they always have a place with you when they're not sure they have what it takes.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

So they can be honest and get the support and the encouragement they need. All right. Happy graduation if you're a graduate. Soak it all in, soak in this moment, soak in the joy of what's to come. And those who are launching your senior, I'm in it with you, friend. Message me and uh you can send the crying emojis, and I'll know exactly what you mean. All right. Until next time, friend, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.